


Double meaning

by DangerRollins



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Forbidden Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Most of the characters tagged are just mentioned, Smut, cowboy rick - Freeform, dick riding rick, sad negan, slut rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 13:32:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12865569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerRollins/pseuds/DangerRollins
Summary: Negan takes a late night trip to Alexandria and stays the night with Rick.





	Double meaning

Alexandria was chaos, Negan's men having showed up in the middle of the night threatening to murder everyone unless someone fessed up to attacking one of their outposts. Rick had been yanked out of his bed by a savior, just as everyone else in Alexandria had been, and they'd all been forced on their knees in a giant circle, much like they had been on that dreadful night a year or so ago that Rick had refused to think about at the moment.

Negan, of course, had been in the center of the circle, swinging Lucille around every other second and threatening someone even more often than that. He was barely making sense to anyone—They'd all just been pulled out of semi-deep sleep after all—and he was rambling on and on about things that wouldn't have made any sense even if they'd been wide awake.

It'd taken him twenty entire minutes to get to the point and actually explain what was happening. "Ricky boy, I thought we were doing good. I thought we were getting closer, becoming **good friends**." There was a bit of truth behind the words and they both knew it. They weren't best friends and never would be. Rick would never trust him and he'd never forgive him for what he'd done to his friends, and Negan would never trust Rick fully if Rick didn't trust him, so, their relationship had been screwed by Lucille from the start. Still, the more time they spent together the more obvious it became that they worked well together. Negan respected Rick more than he respected anybody, probably. Rick was a good leader with a good heart, and yet still, he had an edge to him. He was willing to do anything to anybody as long as it kept his family safe, and when they were threatened, well, he handled the threat. He admired the man and how he went about things, he paid close attention to how his mind worked and he honestly learned a lot from him.

The longer Rick knew Negan the less he could hate the guy. Had he brutally killed two of his people for (mostly) no reason? Yes. And Rick would never forgive that and he'd never get over it because **those were his people**. Those were people who had fought so hard for so long, who had been through hell and back twenty times over, who'd earned their place on the planet, and Negan had cruelly taken away their lives like it was nothing. Like everything they'd been through had just been for absolutely nothing. That made Negan a monster, at least to Rick. But no matter how pissed off or how upset he was, Rick was a relatively reasonable man, and he understood why Negan had done what he did. Rick and his people had murdered Negan's people in their sleep, people who'd had families, people who'd been promised safety and protection from Negan and were 100% expecting no less than that. If the same thing had been done to Rick's people, he would've done a lot worse than Negan. He wouldn't have let anybody who did that to him survive, and Negan had only killed two of Rick's people.

Negan was a likable guy once you got past the mass amounts of unnecessary swearing and the shit-eating grin he always wore and the loudness and the—

There was a long list of shit that you had to get past in order to enjoy Negan's presence even just a little bit, but somehow Rick had managed to get past it.

Sometimes when Negan came to Alexandria he'd immediately scope Rick out and they'd spend time walking around together or sitting on Rick's couch, just talking. At first, it's made Rick uncomfortable and he tried to escape those situations, but now, most times he was the one to find Negan, eagerly awaiting their talks. Sometimes when Negan was in a particularly shitty mood and he knew he'd end up saying something he'd regret, he'd sit with Rick in silence. Sometimes, Rick would reach a hand out and rest it on Negan's shoulder and he'd send the man a knowing look as he kept it there. Sometimes, when Negan was in one of those moods, Rick would find some chocolate or make some spaghetti for the man and they'd sit together eating in silence until Negan cracked a small smile and muttered a quiet 'Thanks.'

They'd been bonding. Rick's wounds would never heal completely but they were feeling better day by day. He just didn't hold the same hatred in his heart for Negan that he'd held in the beginning. He couldn't.

Negan paused as he stepped in front of Rick and eyed the man who stared back up at him. It was clear that he was expecting Rick to say something, so, he did. "I don't think friends is the word. Maybe forced acquaintances?" Rick chose his words carefully.

No matter how he felt about Negan, he knew how his people felt. They hated his guts and they'd never not hate his guts and no amount of Negan's charm was going to change that. The Alexandrians were under the impression that Rick felt the same way, and he wasn't going to tell them any different, not just yet. He couldn't look Rosita in the eyes and tell her he felt something for the man—Something of a friendly nature, of course!

He couldn't look Maggie in the eyes and tell her he just didn't hate Negan as much as he used to. She still wanted him dead, and that was perfectly reasonable. He'd taken away the love of her life, and he reminded her of that every time he spoke to her and referred to her as 'The Widow'

He couldn't look his son in the eyes and tell him that the man who'd almost forced him to cut his arm off was now something of a friend to him--Maybe, possibly, almost more. He couldn't.

None of that, however, stopped Rick from saying the same ten words to Negan now that he'd said when they'd first agreed to stop being pains in each other's asses all the time.

Rick and Negan had been walking back towards the gate after having a long, deep talk, one where Negan had actually somewhat apologized for the things he'd done, and Rick had somewhat accepted it. Rick had been glad that Negan had forced him to speak with him. He felt better, as selfish as it was.

"So, I hope we can be friends now. Maybe next time I come we can paint our nails and have some barbecue while we gossip about the hot neighbor that changed right in front of their window which, of course, happens to be across from yours and—"

"I don't think friends is the word. Maybe forced acquaintances?" Rick cut off his childish rambling. "Just cause I've agreed to stop trying to murder you and all your people doesn't mean we're best buddies now. I still want you to die. I've just agreed to not be the person who causes it."

"Fair enough." Negan had said.

"Fair enough." Negan nodded slowly as he took a few steps back and eyed Carl, who was right next to Rick. Rick looked down and let out a small sigh of relief. Negan was an ass for putting them through this again, for making them remember what had happened a year ago, for making them think that there was a chance that it'd happen again, but at least this time Rick knew for sure that it wouldn't. That little exchange was more than enough proof to him that everything would be okay in the end. Negan was just busting their balls, as he so often loved to do. Still, this was a dick move.

Negan had kept them there for an hour, explaining that one of his outposts had been brutally attacked, and the Alexandrians had been the prime suspects because the attack was much like the one they'd done last year, killing people in their sleep. Negan yelled and threatened and put on a show, but nobody was admitting anything and one look into Rick's eyes was proof enough that they hadn't been behind the attack. So, Negan called off his men, sent them home for the night and said they'd handle it eventually, and then he'd strolled up to Rick, putting a hand on the man's shoulder and leading him back to the Grimes household. "Bunk somewhere else tonight, kiddies, your dad and I have a lot to discuss." He'd told Carl as they walked off. Carl shot Rick a concerned glance as he grabbed Judith from the arms of the savior who Negan had trusted with her, and Rick sent him a reassuring one.

"The hell was that, asshole?" Rick had hissed the second they stepped inside his house. "You know how fucked up—"

"I'm sorry." Negan apologized. Rick stared into his eyes for a moment, trying to see if he was just trying to shut him up or if he was being sincere. It seemed to be the latter, so, Rick sighed and placed his hands on his hips, waiting for an explanation.

"I was just pissed off. I thought..." he let out a small sigh of his own as he absentmindedly peeled off his leather jacket, placed Lucille by the living room couch before sitting on it, and then kicked his feet up. "I thought you really did it. Again. I thought that this whole time, you'd just been letting me think that we were almost kind of cool just so you could pull some shit like this again and I—I wanted to hurt you." He admitted.

"I'm offended. You think I'd do the same thing twice? Think I wouldn't be smart enough to do something...smarter?"

Negan shrugged his shoulders as he patted the seat next to him on the couch. "No idea what I was thinking, other than that I was betrayed by my supposed friend and that I wanted to murder you." He smirked.

Rick kicked his feet up as well, sighing as he closed his eyes. He knew he'd have to deal with a shit ton of pissed off Alexandrians tomorrow and he wasn't looking forward to it. "Next time why don't you wait until morning to torment us?" Rick grumbled as he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Negan watched him, a smile on his face as he did, and didn't quit watching until the man opened his eyes again. Negan looked away quickly, his smile leaving just as quick as he cleared his throat. "I—Ugh, sorry. You can go back to sleep if you want?"

"Why'd you tell my kids to find somewhere else to sleep tonight?" Rick questioned. "You must've wanted something out of me if you wanted the house to ourselves." Had Rick not been so sure that Carl and Judith would be able to bunk with Tara and Denise or Carol and Daryl tonight, he would've told Negan to shove it and brought his kids home with him, but he knew he had nothing to worry about.

Negan wasn't much of a blusher, but his cheeks did start to burn a little at the question. Why had he demanded that Carl and Judith spend the night someplace else? What had he been expecting to happen with Rick when they returned to his house? Even Negan himself didn't know. He just wanted to be alone with Rick.

"I need a place to crash tonight." Negan spoke quickly. "Don't feel like going back to the sanctuary and even if I did, everybody is already long gone, probably."

"You wanna stay over for the night?"

"That's what it sounds like I'm saying, yes." Negan nodded. Rick hummed. There wasn't much he could do about it, not that he wanted to. He didn't mind Negan staying over as much as he should. How much harm could the man do, anyway? "And you had to banish my children to do that?" Rick teased.

"I don't trust the one with the missing eye." Negan grinned. "He might stab me in my sleep. And the girl...She probably cries through the night. You don't get to be this god damn handsome by listening to a baby wail all hours of the night instead of getting your beauty sleep."

"Oh you're handsome? That's news to me." Rick chuckled. Negan rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Rick away from him. "Please, you wish you had a mug like this one." He mumbled.

That had lasted for a while longer than it should've, the playful banter. Not that it should've ever started in the first place, Rick was sure of that.

After a while, though, Rick and Negan decided they needed to get some shut eye or else their days would be miserable, so, they said their good nights and Rick returned to his bedroom after telling Negan he could sleep in Carl's bed (as long as he didn't do anything nasty in it because Carl would already throw a fit if he ever found out that Negan had stepped foot in his room, let alone slept in his bed, but if Negan rubbed one out in his room on his bed? Rick couldn't see Negan coming out of that alive.)

Rick had thought for sure that the moment his head hit his pillow he'd be out like a light once again, but he was wrong. He laid in bed wide awake for who knows how long, willing himself to go back to sleep for the majority of the time before finally just allowing himself to lay there and think about everything and nothing all at once.

Negan was about the same, only difference was he knew long before he'd laid down that he wouldn't be getting any sleep, not while he knew that Rick was only a room away from him. Most of his thoughts were dirty ones, and he'd tried to get them out of his head, but he couldn't.

After a while, he couldn't take it anymore, he just had to relieve himself, but he remembered what Rick had said.

He got up and walked as quietly as he could toward the door of Carl's room, slowly opening it and peeking out of it, making sure that the hall was clear. He proceeded to tiptoe toward Rick's room when he was sure that it was, and opened that door as well.

He tiptoed toward the man's bed and climbed on it, not even bothering to try and avoid waking him. Rick, who'd been awake the whole time, shoved his gun directly into Negan's neck, holding it there before letting out a huff. "Negan what the fuck?!" He growled, keeping his gun up.

Negan held his hands up in defense, and although the room was dark, Rick was still able to see the man's smirk. "I've never been a fan of gunplay but I'll try anything once." He said slowly. Rick rolled his eyes and put the gun down on his bedside table. Negan hovered over the man, straddling him now. "The hell do you want?" Rick spat.

"I'm right on top of you, Ricky, me and you **both** know that you can feel what I want." Negan chuckled. Rick raised his brows. "Negan, I gave you permission to stay in my house for the night to get some sleep. How does that translate to me giving you permission to fuck me?"

"Don't pretend you don't want to." Negan was half joking and half serious. Rick and him wanted each other and there was no denying that, and Rick pretending that there was nothing going on between the two was frustrating as hell. Negan wanted Rick and Rick wanted him, so what the fuck was the problem? "Now, listen—I've got a bad case of the blue balls and you said I wasn't allowed to do anything dirty in your son's room, but you didn't say a god damn thing about your room."

"Negan..." Rick mumbled before shutting his eyes. "Okay. Yeah, I do. I want to—" he cut himself off with a nod. Negan's eyes widened. He'd expected a hell of a lot more arguing, maybe even some punching, and definitely more begging, on his end at least.

"Well, shit." Negan nearly shouted, amusement lacing his voice. "Tickle my ball sack and rub my asshole are you serious right now?"

" **Negan**." Rick glowered.

"Okay, alright, sorry." Negan chuckled. "We should probably make a few things clear right now, huh? I'm willing to shove my dick up practically anything but I don't take anything up my ass, it's too valuable and that shit **hurts**."

"I thought you said you'd try anything once?"

Negan laughed, but he didn't bother responding as he leaned forward and pressed a surprisingly gentle kiss on Rick's lips.

Rick was startled by the kiss. It hadn't been at all what he was expecting. It wasn't rough, needy, quick paced or lust filled. It was slow, sweet, tender and loving. It meant that Negan didn't **just** want to fuck him, and that scared Rick. They were already treading on dangerous waters, breaking boundaries that should've never been broken, but this was just sex and it could easily be explained as such. Just two men who hadn't **felt** anybody else for an extremely long time and **needed** to be touched. Anything more would be hard to explain and Rick wasn't so sure he could do it.

"Negan..." He whispered, sighing a little. "This is bad."

And Negan knew it was no longer about the sex. Rick was talking about something much, much bigger, something he didn't want to think about at the moment. He nodded, allowing his eyes to drift away from Rick's. "Yeah." He drawled out. "I just want you."

Rick nodded after a moment, understanding the man and maybe even sharing the same feeling. "You can have me." Rick told him. "...For tonight."

Negan nodded and covered up his grimace with a smirk. He wasted no time after that, leaning down to place a sloppy kiss on Rick's pretty pink lips. This one wasn't as gentle, filled with need and lust just as Rick had expected the first one to be. Negan's hands were all over him, traveling down his sides, gripping his thighs as he slid between them and wrapped them around his waist, and then eventually gravitating toward Rick's throbbing cock. Rick's hands found themselves in Negan's hair, where they stayed throughout their kiss.

Negan pulled away after a moment, only to kiss down Rick's neck and over his jaw before landing on his lips again. Rick began to notice the way Negan's hips were moving, forcing their erections to rub up against one another, and he failed to hold back a whine as he silently wished for more. Negan pulled back, a playful smile covering his face as he began to yank at Rick's underwear. "Somebody's desperate." He teased.

"It's not because of you." Rick reasoned breathlessly. He watched as Negan removed his own shirt, finally, and then slid off the bed to remove his underwear. "It's just been a while."

He failed to hold in a whimper as Negan slid his hand down his own body and caught hold of his dick, rubbing it a few times as he watched Rick wriggling around. "If you wanted to touch yourself you could've stayed in Carl's room—" Rick winced as he realized what he'd just said and then shook his head, correcting himself. "—Or went to the bathroom to rub one out."

"Calm down, princess." Negan grunted as he crawled onto the bed again. He found his way back between Rick's legs, this time a little lower so that he could comfortably lean down and lick a long strip up Rick's length. He chuckled as he heard Rick suck in a sharp breath, and then he quickly crawled up a little further so that he could place his tongue on one of Rick's nipples.

Had Rick not been so busy trying to withhold desperate moans, he would've complained about Negan's slow pace. The man could run his mouth a billion miles per minute and yet when it came time to fuck he couldn't move any faster than a snail?

"Negan!" Rick groaned, frustration and desperation prominent in his voice. "Fuck me."

His pride was out the window for now. If he wanted Negan's dick in him anytime soon, he knew he'd have to work for it.

Negan raised his brows as he removed his mouth from Rick's nipple, staring at the bold man in front of him. "Ask again." He demanded.

"Negan." Rick growled. "Will you please fuck me?"

"Why should I? Why do you want this dick?"

"Negan!"

"Let me reintroduce myself to you, Ranger Rick, my god damn, mother fucking name is Negan, I'm a narcissistic motherfuckin' asshole and I don't fuck anybody I don't think deserves it. I got the best dick in town and nobody gets to have it unless they know how the hell to ask properly. Now try again."

"I want you to fuck me, Negan." Rick narrowed his eyes as he spoke through clenched teeth, trying his damnedest not to slap the shit out of Negan right then and there. "I want to feel you in me. I want you inside me now."

"And?"

"I want you to make me your bitch." Rick wanted to believe he was only saying it because he knew it was what Negan wanted to hear, but there was at least a little truth to his words. He wanted Negan to absolutely destroy him, to make it so that he was unable to think about anything other than getting fucked, but he wasn't about to say that out loud.

"I want you to show me this is worth it."

And there that damn double meaning was once again. Negan growled lowly as he crawled over Rick and sat up against the headboard. "I don't feel like doing the work tonight. So, you're gonna ride me."

Rick wished he'd argued more, but he'd only nodded and hurriedly straddled Negan's lap, lining the man's large cock up with his awaiting hole. "Don't you need some prep?" Negan questioned as he watched Rick start to work his way down. Rick blushed, breaking eye contact with Negan as he discreetly shook his head. Negan's eyes widened when he felt himself slip into Rick with ease, and then he let out a hearty laugh, grabbing Rick's chin and forcing the man to look at him. "You little slut you, you been fisting your ass for me?"

"Fingering, not fisting! Fingering!" Rick quickly corrected him. "A-And not for y—" Rick gasped as he leaned forward a little. Negan wrapped his arms around the man's waist, bringing him even closer. He loved how soft Rick's skin felt as he rubbed up against him and he loved the beautiful faces Rick was making, his mouth falling open as his eyes squeezed shut and his eyebrows furrowed. Rick moved his hips back and forth slowly, bringing his hands up to wrap around Negan's neck once again. "Fuck, Negan!"

Negan guided Rick's hips along and didn't look away or even blink, trying to burn this beautiful fucking image into his brain so that he could remember it forever. He let out a few grunts here and there as he felt himself sliding in and out of Rick's perfect hole. The man was clenching and unclenching around him, making it hard for him to keep his eyes open as they wanted to flutter closed so he could focus on the wonderful feeling, but he was determined to keep them open.

Negan was desperate and so was Rick, but they were desperate for very different reasons.

Rick was most certainly desperate for release, bouncing himself up and down on Negan's cock like the little slut he was, arching his back and bending his body in the most wonderful way as he focused on nothing but getting himself off. He was carefree, blissed out, and maybe even a tiny bit happy.

Negan couldn't say the same.

Sure, Rick felt real good on his dick, and yes he was in fact very happy to be fucking such a hot piece of ass, but Negan couldn't focus on the sex. He was infatuated with Rick, he wanted the man, always, and he knew he just couldn't have him, and it was killing him. He wanted to enjoy himself, to fuck the shit outta the eager man on top of him, which is what he'd essentially come in here to do, but he couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that he hadn't felt this way about anyone other than Lucille before, and that was terrifying.

Negan knew this was most likely the first and last time he'd get to see Rick like this. It didn't matter how fucking charming he was, how flirtatious he was, how much he tried to make shit right. Shit **wasn't** right, shit had never been right and shit would never **be** right.

He'd never wanted to cum less.

He didn't want it to end. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, but he knew they couldn't.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Rick whispered, leaning his forehead against Negan's. Negan shut his eyes briefly, finally, as he leaned forward to kiss Rick again. It was slow and gentle again, and although Rick wasn't able to comprehend much other than Negan's dick, he did notice that. He slowed his pace before ultimately coming to a stop, his grip on Negan's neck tightening as he opened his eyes. "Negan..."

His voice made Negan's heart ache and caused the man to let out a dark and awkward chuckle. He shook his head, silently telling Rick to stop because nothing he said right now was going to make him feel any better. "Keep going." Negan croaked out, sending Rick a small smile. "So good for me. Keep going."

Rick didn't argue, slowly grinding down into Negan once again. This time, Negan paid more attention to the actual task at hand, moaning as Rick latched his lips to his neck.

After a few more minutes, Negan could tell that Rick was getting tired, and he couldn't blame him. He quickly repositioned then, flipping Rick onto his back. Negan hovered over him, staring at him for a moment before hastily thrusting his hips forward, somehow catching Rick off guard.

Negan had completely switched his brain off and it was the smartest thing he'd done in a long time. He was on autopilot as he slammed into Rick over and over again, his movements getting faster and more urgent as he felt himself getting close. Rick moaned his name over and over again, encouraging him to go even harder.

Negan could feel Rick's fingers scratching at his back before drifting down to grip his ass and it sent shivers down his spine.

"FUCK!" Rick screamed as his stomach clenched and he brought a hand up to stroke himself as he came, cum splattering on his stomach. He threw his head back and arched his back as he stared at Negan, a small smirk on his face and it seemed to Negan that Rick knew just how damn sexy he looked in that moment.

"I'm gonna cum—" Negan went to pull away but Rick's legs tightened around his waist. He shook his head as he stared up at the confused man. "Want you inside me." He muttered. "Please? Please cum inside me."

He didn't have to ask twice.

Negan grunted as he began to fuck Rick once again, his hips moving fast and his heart beating even faster, it wasn't long before he felt his movements getting sloppy and his dick twitched as he came, all his seed spurting into Rick who was once again reduced to nothing but a moaning mess. "Fucking shit, Grimes, you sure have a sweet ass!" He managed to choke out.

When his orgasm was over and his breathing slowed down, he slowly pulled out of the man and stood up. Rick shuffled underneath the sheets and closed his eyes, obviously worn out. Negan picked up his clothes and started to put them back on. Rick reached out to grab his arm, opening his eyes and staring up at the other man. "Stay. You can stay, Negan." He muttered softly. Negan bit his lip, wincing as he let out a pained huff which was supposed to be a laugh. "Nah." He dragged out. "You and I both know that I can't."

Rick watched as the man put his clothes on and shuffled toward the door. He didn't want to stick around for too much longer, not wanting to be known for coming and then crying, but he paused for a moment to look at Rick.

"I, ugh—I...I lo—"

"Yeah, I know." Rick nodded slowly. "Shouldn't. Cant."

"Yeah." Negan shrugged and nodded, his eyes glued to the floor. "Yeah."

"I do too." Rick added quietly, almost hoping that Negan hadn't heard him, but he knew that he had. Negan nodded, his mood not brightening one fucking bit.

"Yeah." He sighed before walking out.

Rick groaned as he tried to will himself to get to sleep before the sun came up, but he knew he wouldn't, not as long as the smell of Negan was still stuck on his sheets.


End file.
